Double-Edged Sword – A Venting Session

Ironic, isn’t it? A hunger to be consumed.

I find my nose buried in books less frequently than in past years.

In fact, my mind regularly finds itself flourishing in enamouring conversations, eyes glistening with passion and conviction have me drowning in beautiful words and teachings.

I haven’t written much lately either, as the more of these intoxicating conversations I have, the more I find my own thoughts muddled, and frankly, a bit lost.

Who? What? When? Where? How? WHY?

It is a double-edged sword, this fascination of mine.

I am at a point where I just want to soak up everything around me, enhance my overall person, become wiser, splatter my mind’s canvas with as many colours as I possibly can.

My inspiration to share has retracted into a little corner.

Do I feel like I have nothing worth sharing anymore?

It is a double-edged sword, you see.

I love it.

People. Their thoughts. Their insights. Them.

What makes you tick?

What are your enriching views on these mundane things that halts the idea of mundanity itself?

Is mundanity simply a concept created by people who have retorted to only experiencing things on a surface-level?

Where is your child-like wonder? Where everything you come across is only more amazing than the last?

My mind is constantly filled with questions, often finding my answers through people and experiences.

It is a double-edged sword, you see.

As much as I love receiving,

I sometimes feel as though I have withdrawn within myself.

I have become quieter, shier, much less insightful.

I feel so helplessly lost at times, on days where I have more questions than answers, crushing me to the point where I simply turn my brain off.

These days are now coming more frequently than my previous days of answers.

And on the worst of them, the shadow of incompetence is cast over me.

{Well then, what inspired me to write today? A book!

So I realized how imperative both are to me, once again reaffirming the essentiality of balance.

Why does it always come down to balance?

But that’s beside the point altogether. The point is, that}

I realized that I still have a couple of internal battles left to face, I mean, don’t we all?

I realized that this allure is not, in fact, a double-edged sword.

My hunger for consumption is my greatest means to any sort of realization.

But before we can get anywhere, we need to make peace with the wars inside.

I realized that I am currently experiencing my winter.

So, I now prepare for my spring.

But the best part of all is, I realized all of aforementioned while writing the aforementioned.

So thank you for bearing with me.

 

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